So far, we’ve talked about why we need to think about money, why we need to talk about money, and Italian beef. Before we dive deep into budgeting, saving, paying off debt, and investing, we need to make sure our money mindset is locked in.
I hope you’ve started thinking about why you want to be good with money. This will be personal for all of us and may change with time. The more you think and talk about why you want to be good with money, the clearer your motivations will become.
Three powerful reasons why I want to be good with money:
- Money can give you choices.
- Money can give you personal power.
- Money can give you time.
1. Money can give you choices.
This may seem obvious, but when you have money, you have choices. You can choose where to live. You can choose who you work for, or can work for yourself. You can choose how you eat, exercise, relax, and travel.
This holds true whether you make $50,000 or $250,000. Of course, your options may be different. The point is that when you’ve made good money choices, you’ll at least have options.
2. Money can give you personal power.
This is another way to say that money gives you control of your life situation. If you are in a bad relationship, a bad job, or just need a change, money gives you the personal power to do something about it.
3. Money can give you time.
When you have enough money to be truly financially independent, you have earned the freedom to do whatever you want with your time. You can spend your working hours at a job that is meaningful to you. You can spend more time with people who are meaningful to you.
It’s been said many times, “time is our most precious resource.” When you have money, you can buy your time back.
The most important part of talking is listening.
From the time we’re in diapers, we start learning by observing people older than us. As my family prepares to leave the house, my son has recently started chanting “Let’s roll! Let’s roll! Let’s roll!” Yup, that one’s on me.
The same idea applies when it comes to life and money. I’ve mentioned before how much I’ve learned about life from listening to my clients suffering with mesothelioma. I’ve learned even more by listening to my family, friends, and mentors.
When you listen to enough people with more years behind them than you, certain themes continue to surface, like the importance of family. You’ll hear about creating experiences and memories, usually involving vacations or time with friends.
One thing I’ve never heard? Someone saying “I wish I spent less money on doing the things I loved.”
You don’t have to agree with everything you hear, but the act of listening will start turning the wheels in your own mind. And when your wheels start turning, you can’t be afraid to spend money on the things that make you happy.
Why do we need to actively think about the things that make us happy?
A sneak peak of how I look at budgeting.
I said we weren’t going to discuss budgeting yet, and we won’t. “Budgeting” is kind of a nasty word. Nobody likes to say it out loud, let alone aggressively do it each month. This is why we spend so much time in the beginning talking about our money mindset.
A budget is worthless if you are not motivated to stick to it. Sure, you may stick to your budget plan for a month or two, but you’ll fall back into old habits if you haven’t prioritized what matters most to you.
We’ll save the particulars for another day. A sneak peak at how I teach my students:
Like it or not, everyone needs a budget… for a little while. Once we’ve identified what we spend money on and made some thoughtful choices, most of us don’t need a rigid budget.
If you’ve thought and talked enough about your true motivations, you won’t need a budget either. Each month, you will take care of your obligations, grow your net worth, and use the rest of your money to buy things you love and to create experiences.
Talking money should be emotional.
If you’re being honest with yourself, talking money should be emotional. Remember, most of us exert mental energy pretending we’re not worried about money. My challenge to you is to exert that same energy into figuring out why we behave in certain ways when it comes to money.
The reason it matters is because we’re soon going to be talking in detail about budgeting, which is just the process of making thoughtful choices about how we spend our money. If we don’t know why we choose to spend in certain ways, we won’t be able to make lasting adjustments to our budget.
Have you ever thought about why you dine out?
Let’s look at an example to start prepping ourselves for the budgeting process. This is a good time to revisit one of the main principles when talking money with your people: no judgments allowed. We’re not looking to shame ourselves or each other. We are aiming for understanding so we can make thoughtful decisions.
Say you’ve looked at your monthly spending and realize that you’re spending a lot of money dining out. The key to creating a budget you will actually stick to is actively thinking about why you spend so much money dining out. You might learn that dining out is an essential part of your best life. You might learn it’s really not.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is there an emotional reason you dine out frequently, like it makes you feel successful? Or, you like spending time with friends? Do you get joy out of trying new dishes?
Maybe it’s something else entirely and unrelated to your emotions. Maybe you don’t have time to cook at home because of your work schedule? Maybe it’s just laziness?
It might have nothing to do with how often you eat out, but where you choose to eat and what you choose to order. Do you order a bottle of wine with dinner? Could you have drinks at home beforehand instead?
When you honestly think about and answer these questions for yourself, you can start to make thoughtful decisions on whether that spending matches your priorities. If it doesn’t, then it’s an area for adjustment.
And, that’s really all that budgeting is. Not so nasty, right?
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