Let’s start with recent news that impacted me personally.
A reminder to consistently evaluate your banking relationships.
For a long time, I used Capital One for all my savings accounts. When I started law school in 2006, there was a Capital One cafe right next to my school. You could get a cup of coffee for $.75 and talk to a banker at the same time. It was a cool concept and convinced me to bank with Capital One.
I told everyone about how great Capital One was. I had Capital One savings accounts and a Capital One credit card. You could say I was a huge Capital One fan.
One day that November, for whatever reason, I logged into my Capital One account to see what rate I was earning. I was sure it would be in the 4% range, and probably closer to 5%, since Capital One was a leader in online banking.
When my statement loaded, I was shocked.
0.30%!
Shocked probably isn’t the right word. I was disgusted.
0.30% in 2023 might as well have been 0.0%… from a bank that had been a leader in online savings accounts that I had banked with for 17 years.
What the heck happened?
Capital One, unbeknownst to me, switched my savings from its high interest platform into an account with the much lower interest rate. At the same time, Capital One was still advertising and offering top rates to new customers.
When I discovered the sneaky switch, I immediately closed all of my accounts and transferred my money to a new bank. I no longer have a Capital One credit card, either.
Capital One, of course, denies the allegations. Maybe they did nothing legally wrong. For me, I saw the deceit in my own statement and the damage was already done.
Why do stories like Capital One’s alleged deceptive practices matter?
It wasn’t the amount of interest I lost out on that bothered me.
For me, it was about the principle. I don’t want to have any relationship with a bank that would do that to its customers, especially long-term customers like me.
That said, I have to admit that writing this post is reopening old wounds.
I did a quick search in my inbox and found a Capital One statement from December 2022 showing a 0.30% interest rate. That means Capital One had deceived me for at least a year before I caught on.
Now I’m getting hot all over again.
“Take a deep breath,” as my son says to his sister when she’s crying.
On the bright side, this experience was a good reminder of how important it is to look at our accounts regularly.
As The WSJ notes, “Bigger credit-card balances mean people are paying more in interest charges, with rates hovering around their highest levels on records. The average credit-card rate was around 21% late last year, according to data from the Federal Reserve.”
It’s because I’ve personally felt the negative emotions tied to credit card debt that I never like seeing stories like these.
I understand that some people don’t have options besides using credit cards because of life circumstances. I’m hopeful that through money wellness education, more and more people will realize that they do have options.
Let’s look at one of the potential issues with articles like these. Empower reports that the average balance for someone in their 50’s is $592,285, and the median balance is $252,850.
That’s a big difference. Let’s refer back to high school math (ok fine, Google) for a refresher on what “average” and “median” are.
The average balance is calculated by adding up everyone’s account balance and dividing by the total number of people. The median reflects the middle account balance if we list everyone’s balance from smallest to largest.
Using Empower’s data, the average balance seems skewed on the high side. This is likely because of a subset of high net worth individuals driving the average up. The median value is probably a more informative number for the average American.
Let’s put this all another way. Whether my colleague has $50,000 saved or $500,000 saved should not impact my retirement planning. The amount he has saved doesn’t matter to me.
Instead of talking about his numbers, I can still benefit from talking to him about his goals. I should be talking to him about his money mindset, like what motivates him to save in the first place.
Am I saving too little or too much for retirement?
My perspective on work, family, and life has undoubtedly been shaped by visiting with my clients in their homes and talking about their life experiences. I am forever grateful for what I have learned in these moments.
I also think about Bill Perkins and his excellent book, Die with Zero. You can read more about Perkins and his philosophy that many of us are saving too much for retirement on the Die with Zero website.
For my own money decisions, I’m still sorting out these three competing realities:
Some people, like my mesothelioma clients, don’t get to enjoy a full retirement;
Others outlive their money in retirement; and
Still other people saved more than they’ll ever spend in retirement.
My main takeaway is that I want to make choices today that allow me to spend more time with the people I love and more time doing the work that I love. However those three realities play out in my own life, I’m confident I won’t regret living this way.
This mindset is what led me to start Think and Talk Money. I enjoy helping people think through these types of choices.
Please help me spread the word about Think and Talk Money so more of us can consider these important concepts.
My favorite teachers share a common gift of using analogies to make a teaching point more clear. My mentor and moot court coach in law school (he preferred we call him Sensei) was an expert at analogies.
Back in law school, after working for months on a brief for a moot court competition, my team messed up and submitted a brief with a bad formatting error on the cover page.
We knew we were going to get penalized, but after months of working on it, we still felt proud of our work. And, it felt good to be done.
We called Sensei in celebration that we were finished. When we told him about the formatting error, he was… not pleased.
“You fumbled the ball on the one yard line!”
I told you he was good with analogies.
Analogies can help us internalize key money concepts.
I’ve found that analogies work well when trying to implement key money wellness habits into our lives. Like the idea of generating fuel for our ultimate life goals through our budgeting choices.
I’m always on the lookout for new analogies to help make money concepts more relatable. It probably has to do with the common misconception that being good with money means knowing the ins-and-outs of the stock market.
Relating money concepts to other familiar areas of life can help with that.
This is one of the things I like best about teaching personal finance. Money touches all aspects of our lives, whether we like it or not. So, talking about money is really just talking about life. Sometimes that means using analogies.
Which leads us to Peloton.
See you on the leaderboard.
My wife and I bought a Peloton bike during the pandemic, probably like a lot of you. I’m still a big fan, especially because of the flexibility an at-home workout provides when juggling life with kids.
It occurred to me the other day that my friends and I talk about Peloton a fair amount. I pretty much know who all their favorite instructors are and what type of music they ride to. I’ve been accused of having a hot bike that juices my score, which I continue to deny.
There’s nothing better than doing a Peloton ride at home and seeing that your friend is doing the same ride. It gives you a jolt of energy to know your friend, in that exact moment, is doing the same thing as you.
You know where I’m going with this Peloton analogy.
It’s long been normal to talk about and motivate each other to exercise. But, it’s still considered taboo to talk about money.
Why can’t we talk about money the same way we talk about exercising?
I’m guessing that you know exactly what your closest friends and family members do for exercise. Weights? Yoga? Jogging? You also know which people do nothing at all.
I’m also guessing you have no clue what motivates each of these people to work 2,000 plus hours per year to make money.
Or, what their strategies are for using that money they make to fuel their life goals.
Exercising has long been made better with a personal trainer or a friend to keep you on track. Those days when you don’t feel like working out, having someone to push you is a great advantage.
Why shouldn’t we seek out that same great advantage when it comes to our money, something that touches every aspect of our lives?
This idea extends well beyond exercise habits. I’m sure you know your friends’ current favorite travel destinations, books, and food?
For me, it’s paying down mortgage debt on our rental properties.
What are you waiting for?
When we moved to our new neighborhood, the first people we met at the playground were a lovely couple that own a local fitness center. They’re also real estate investors and have young kids, like us.
We’ve become friends and have had some amazing talks about life and money. In one such talk, I mentioned that I was thinking about starting Think and Talk Money.
My friend heard me out and didn’t say a word until I finished. He then looked me square in the eyes, like only a coach could do, and said, “What are you waiting for?”
He was absolutely right. A few months later, I launched Think and Talk Money and sent him a message thanking him. I was grateful for our talk about life. He was happy to have motivated me.
Our friends can help with money just like they can help with exercise.
Lately, I’ve thought about how much my friends and I can help each other if we talked about money concepts just like we talk about Peloton.
One thing to mention, I don’t want to give you the idea that we’re constantly talking about exercise. It comes up from time to time, every once in a while. That’s enough of a reminder to pay attention to our fitness. Talking money is the same thing.
You don’t have to bring up money with your friends every week or even every month. How about just every once in a while when it’s on your mind? I think you’ll find your friends are the best people to help you stop worrying about money.
I think you’ll also find that you can be the one helping and motivating your friends. You don’t have to be an expert. Sharing any ideas can help jumpstart the thought process for your friends. That’s a really good feeling.
Always remember, the amount of money we have doesn’t matter anymore than our scores on the bike. There’s no reason to talk about numbers unless the people in your life are comfortable with that.
One caveat, I encourage you to talk specifics with certain people who are impacted by your money choices, like a spouse or partner.
The point of talking money is not to compare yourself to others.
Fitness instructors know that it’s not helpful to tell people to compare themselves to each other. We’re all built physically different and emotionally different. Instead, they encourage us to seek personal improvement, consistently over time.
That’s how we should be talking money with our friends.
We all basically agree with this concept, right? That it’s not helpful to compare ourselves to others. That’s a lesson that’s been drilled into our brains since we were kids.
Let’s remember that lesson when we start approaching our friends to talk money. It’s not how much money any of us have, it’s what we’re doing with that money to fuel our goals that matters.
Do you talk to your friends about paying for college?
Many of my friends have young kids like me and saving for college is a common goal we share.
Wouldn’t it be beneficial for us to talk about how we’re planning to pay for it?
By talking about paying for kids’ college educations with your friends, you may learn about education-specific investment accounts, like 529 plans, which is a common strategy we’ll soon discuss.
You may also learn less common, but potentially more appealing, strategies for your situation. An example is buying an investment property when your kids are young with the intention of selling it years later to pay for college. This is what Brandon Turner did, and he’s a very smart guy.
The idea is you may learn something that makes it more likely to achieve your goals, whether that’s paying for college or anything else, like saving up for a wedding or paying off student loans.
Is there a stronger motivation than helping your friends and loved ones?
You don’t have to talk numbers. Talk about the strategy and help each other stay consistent. You both will benefit.
Is there any stronger motivation in life than helping our friends and loved ones? On the same note, what better people to learn from than your friends, people you know and trust.
That’s what talking money is all about.
Leave a comment below if you’ve talked money with any of your friends lately.
How did it go?
Did you learn anything that you’d recommend when approaching the topic of money?
Coming up, we’re going to do our first Q&A post where I’ll answer questions from readers. So many good questions have already come in. Please keep them coming! Leave a comment below, subscribe to our newsletter, or find us on Instagram.
One question we already received was so good, I’ve answered it here in a dedicated post. The question came from someone that I love to talk money with. He read the Think and Talk Money Welcome Post where I mentioned that my credit card debt was partially due to having Chicago Cubs season tickets.
He knows that I’m a big Cubs fan and asked me if I would I really trade all those great experiences and memories just to save money.
It’s such a good question because it points to the intersection of money and life. It took me all of two seconds to know and feel the answer was, of course, “No, I would not have given up my Cubs tickets.”
He was absolutely right. If I gave up my tickets in 2010 when I was struggling with debt, I never would have been in the stadium in 2016 with my family for the Cubs’ World Series run. Those are some of the best memories I have.
In hindsight, I would have done some things differently so I could enjoy the experiences without the money worries. Let’s talk about that.
But first, story time.
Our nice friends, Phil and April.
Throughout that World Series run, we sat next to the nicest couple in the world, Phil and April. Phil was a diehard Cubs fan. April was more reserved. Both were smart and very friendly. They were enjoyable people to sit with. We chatted baseball, mostly. Pitching changes. Send the runner. Question the manager. That sort of thing. Completely normal, unremarkable stuff.
Game 5 was played on a crisp, October evening. Jackets and beanies weather in Chicago. Phil and April were sitting next to my brother and I, as usual. Mike Napoli was playing first base for Cleveland.
Around the 3rd inning, a jerk four rows in front of us taunted Napoli with a crude, juvenile insult. It was apparent the jerk was doing his part to keep Old Style in business for another year.
Phil was nice…and tough.
Anyway, the rest of our section was none too pleased with the jerk’s shameful display. Nobody was more displeased than Phil, who did what the rest of us were thinking but were too scared to do ourselves. Phil stood up. In so many words, Phil sternly recommended that the jerk knock it off and show some class.
The jerk turned around, aggressively scanning the crowd for the man who had publicly shamed him. The jerk had that unmistakable look in his eye that meant, “Let’s dance.” My brother and I were a bit worried for our nice… and all of a sudden tough…friend, Phil.
April did not look worried. She sat there like nothing strange was happening. Almost like she had seen this movie before.
When the jerk locked eyes with Phil, he immediately saw that Phil was happy to accept the invitation to tango. Well, the jerk was sloppy, but he had enough sense to recognize that he wanted no piece of Phil. He wisely turned back around and sat down quietly.
That was the last we heard from the jerk that night. Our nice, and now confirmed tough friend Phil had restored order.
Phil’s on TV!
On the day of the Cubs’ championship parade, my brother called me excitedly, “Phil’s on TV! Phil’s on TV!” It didn’t register right away who he was talking about. When I turned on the TV, sure enough, there was Phil, our World Series friend. I was so confused. Phil was giving an interview on set with the Cubs announcers. Our nice (and tough) friend, Phil? On TV?
I turned up the volume and listened to Phil talk about his experience watching the Cubs win the World Series. Maybe I was hoping he’d mention his nice friend, Matt. He didn’t.
I still couldn’t figure out why Phil was on TV. Why won’t they just put his name on the screen already!?
It wasn’t until the end of the interview that I learned who Phil was. All I could do was laugh.
Our nice, and confirmed tough, friend Phil is better known as World Wresting Entertainment (WWE) champion and icon, CM Punk.
His wife? WWE champion and bestselling author, AJ Mendez.
Life, huh?
A memory I wouldn’t trade for anything.
As much fun as the World Series was, my favorite Cubs memory actually took place during the 2015 season, the year before they won the World Series. It was during the 7th inning of Game 4 of the NLDS. This was the game where the Cubs knocked the rival St. Louis Cardinals out of the playoffs.
The entire stadium was rocking so loud, you could feel the ground shaking beneath your feet. Every fan was jumping up and down, hugging anyone close enough to touch. We were all dancing like nobody was watching. That moment was pure happiness.
I was there with my mom. A lifelong Chicagoan, she too was jumping up and down and high-fiving all the other diehard fans in our section. After the game, we met up with my wife at a restaurant and relived the victory over Champagne.
What does this have to do with money?
What does any of this have to do with money? When I said money was emotional, this is what I meant. I wouldn’t trade that memory with my mom for anything. My brother and I still joke about our nice friends, Phil and April.
These are the types of experiences that I want more of. These memories, and the desire for more like them, continue to motivate me today. I want to be good with money, not so I can stash it in the bank, but so I can use that money to create joy for me and my family.
So, to get back to my friend’s question. Would I really have given up my Cubs tickets? No, absolutely not.
What would I have done differently to keep the tickets but not the worries?
In hindsight, what could I have done differently so my Cubs tickets were not a major source of financial worry?
Even back then, I knew and felt that spending money on Cubs tickets was money well spent. I didn’t need to wait for hindsight to come to that conclusion.
That said, I would have put more thought into solutions to keep the tickets and the experiences without the debt and the shame. I would have looked at expenditures in my Now Money and Life Money buckets that were ripe for adjustment.
Maybe that would have meant giving up something else less meaningful, like my gym membership. Or, I could have looked into a side hustle as a way to earn more money, something we’ll explore at another time.
Whatever the solution was, I would have been more intentional with my decisions so my experiences were not overshadowed by my worries.
Talking money is really just talking life.
This was such a good question to illustrate a foundational concept of Think and Talk Money. Yes, we discuss money. But, we’re really talking about our lives and our experiences. Money is just a tool to help us.
And before you get cynical on me, of course money is not required for good experiences. That’s not the point. What I’m suggesting is that if you’re spending most of your time each week at your job, like most of us do, shouldn’t we think about the money we earn so we can maximize experiences like I had with my mom?
Think and Talk Money is all about awakening that thought process so we can use the tool of money to fuel meaningful lives. Would you use that tool to get you Cubs tickets? Or, do you prefer trips to Disney World? What if money is just the currency that you trade to get your time back, so you can do more of what you want with who you want?
Whatever it is that you’re after in life, thinking and talking about money will help get you there.
In Part 1 of our series on budgeting, we learned how to eliminate disappearing dollars by creating a plan for Now Money, Life Money, and Later Money.
In Part 2, we used a real life example to work through the budgeting process together. We learned that even seemingly minor adjustments can add major fuel to your Later Money bucket.
Here in Part 3, we’ll take a deep dive into my top 10 strategies for making thoughtful adjustments so we can consistently win the budget game.
1. See the ball go through the hoop.
When I was playing basketball growing up, I learned the concept of “seeing the ball go through the hoop.” When I was struggling to make a shot, my coach encouraged me to drive to the basket and make an easy shot.
Once I saw that I could make an easy shot, I had my confidence back.
By seeing the ball go through the hoop, I subconsciously reminded myself that I could do it. There was nothing wrong with me. I was ready for more challenging shots.
Anyone who has been around young kids has witnessed this same phenomenon. My son is learning to swim. When he proudly drifted (with a life vest on) two feet from me on his own, he proudly exclaimed, “I’m swimming! I’m swimming!”
It didn’t matter that neither his arms nor his legs were moving.
Once he saw that he could enjoy the pool without holding onto dad for dear life, he wanted nothing to do with me. He knew for himself that he could do it.
This concept works in a lot of different money situations, especially when making thoughtful adjustments to your budget. In our really lost boy example, we made small adjustments to our grocery budget, phone and internet bills, and social life spending.
These adjustments were easy to implement and added major fuel to our Later Money. Just as importantly, there was an additional psychological benefit in proving to ourselves that we could make improvements.
Start small. See the ball go through the hoop.
2. Don’t cancel your social life.
The point of starting small is to identify beneficial adjustments that are relatively painless. Focus on the “relatively painless” part. Canceling your social life will not be relatively painless.
Your social life consists of ongoing experiences that bring you happiness. We always should strive for more of those experiences, not less. So, don’t cancel your social life.
Looking again to our really lost boy, you probably noticed that I made small adjustments to my Life Money. However, even those small adjustments did not result in less time with my friends.
This is a key point: I didn’t spend any less time with my friends than I did before. Instead, I thought and talked about alternatives so I could still see them without spending a lot of money.
In recent years, my students have thought and talked about some great examples of this concept in action. For example, say your friends are going out to dinner on Friday night. You know it’s going to be more expensive than what your Life Money permits.
Instead of going to the dinner (and wrecking your budget), or not going to the dinner (and being sad at home), what alternatives can you think of?
One student suggested you can meet your friends beforehand for happy hour. Another student suggested you take a pass on dinner and invite your friends over to your place later that weekend for coffee and bagels.
If you don’t want to spend your Life Money to go see Taylor Swift in concert, invite your friends over to watch the documentary on Netflix.
The common theme is that you still get to spend time with your friends, while keeping more money in your pocket.
3. Talk to your friends about Life Money.
Surprise, surprise! More talking! I recommend you talk to your friends about the thoughtful adjustments you’re implementing with your Life Money. Like in most life situations, communication is key.
Once your friends know that you are working on thoughtful choices in your Budget After Thinking, they will happily support you. They’ll know that you aren’t blowing them off.
In the rare instance that they don’t support you in striving for your dreams? You may need to question if these are the right friends for you.
The art of budgeting is not about cutting, especially when it comes to things you love. Budgeting is about thinking and talking to find solutions or alternatives.
You can keep doing the things that bring you happiness at the same time you’re making progress on your life goals. It just takes a little bit of mental effort.
4. Keep on traveling.
Making small adjustments works in all areas of your budget, not just your social life. Let’s look at travel, a major expense, but also one of the best sources of life experiences for a lot of people.
For our really lost boy, cutting out travel completely was a nonstarter. My sister lived in Los Angeles, one brother lived in Washington D.C., and the other brother studied abroad in Spain. Plus, my best friends from college lived in New York and Virginia. My grandma was in South Carolina.
If I wanted to see my people, traveling was part of the deal.
Traveling was also a huge expense, and paying for all that travel brought me a lot of stress. I needed to think and talk about a solution so I could travel for less money. You know where this is going, don’t you?
I researched the best credit cards for travel points and how to best use those points for free flights and hotels.
I learned the most affordable days of the week to fly and the best times of the year to visit certain places. Yes, this took mental effort. But, this was more preferable mental effort than worrying about money.
Even if you don’t want to take these steps, you can still make thoughtful decisions about cutting back on even one or two trips a year, which I also did. I spent less money, but the added benefit was that I appreciated each trip even more.
I had more time to look forward to that trip and more time to remember it before another trip distracted me.
Do not use credit cards just to earn points.
This is not a recommendation. It’s a requirement. Stay tuned for a future post on responsibly using credit cards to earn free vacations.
For now, the only rule that matters is to not overly spend on your credit cards just to earn points. That is a recipe for disaster.
Using credit cards to travel only works to your advantage if you can pay your bills, in full and on time, each month.
“Triple points!!!”
Years ago, my friend and I were out to dinner with our wives at a nice neighborhood spot in Chicago. When the check came, I pulled out my credit card. He pulled out a debit card. I nearly fell out of my chair.
It’s not that using a debit card is a bad choice. It’s a great choice for a lot of people. In this instance, however, I was shocked because I knew this guy very well.
We had travelled all over Europe together. We had just spent most of dinner talking about trips we had taken and trips we wanted to take. This friend is also one of the smartest guys I know, a statement that I will forever deny and insist that I was hacked, if he ever reads this.
I was shocked he wasn’t using a credit card to earn points so he could travel for free.
I couldn’t help myself and had to ask my friend about the debit card. (What do you want from me, I like to talk about money.) Turns out he just never really thought about using a credit card.
He wasn’t actively avoiding credit cards, he just didn’t know there were advantages to go along with the potential negatives (if you don’t pay your bills).
My friend was an instant convert. He was thrilled (maybe an understatement) to learn about how he could travel for free with credit card points. He began responsibly using credit cards and never looked back.
To this day, he won’t leave me alone any time he earns “TRIPLE POINTS!!!” or books a free vacation for his family. I love it.
5. Spark and cut.
Another one of my favorite tricks was inspired by Marie Kondo, famous for helping people de-clutter their houses by asking a simple question, “Does this item spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, get rid of it. So simple, and so powerful.
Marie Kondo is an inspiration. In my opinion, there is no clearer display of brilliance than taking a complex matter (like organizing your house) and distilling into a simple, understandable idea.
We can apply the same strategy to any area of our spending. Does this subscription bring me joy? If yes, keep it. If not, cut it.
Does this health club membership bring me joy? This expensive clothing store? What about attending concerts? Sporting events?
If these things don’t honestly bring you joy, cut them from your life and your budget. Italian beef or unagi? Either one is fine, if you’ve determined for yourself that it brings you joy.
When you spark and cut, you’ll create more money to fuel your Later Money goals. Just as important, you’ll likely find that you don’t miss those things or activities.
You’ll value your newfound time and freedom to pursue those remaining parts of your life with more dedication.
6. It’s OK if you occasionally exceed your spending.
What should you do if you overspend one month? Don’t get discouraged and give up. Before all your hard work goes to waste, take the next month to course correct.
If you overspent by $300 in your Life Money in December, make it a priority to underspend by $300 in January.
Is this easier said than done? Well, sure. It’s always easier to say you’re going to do something. The hard part is following through. It will take discipline to get back on track. What will drive that discipline?
Once again, it’s your ultimate life motivations that we’ve talked so much about (and will always continue to talk about). Without that clear vision of your ideal life in front of you, no budget will ever last.
Don’t panic. Course correct. Stay on track.
7. Make a game out of it, like the $500 Challenge.
When I veer off track and have a bad spending month, I try to not get down on myself. I’m human. It happens. So, lemons to lemonade. I make a game out of it called “The $500 Challenge.”
My wife and I started playing The $500 Challenge years ago. The game was simple. Each of us had to limit our Life Money for the month to just $500. Whoever spent the least that month, won the game.
I’ve never won the game. My wife is… competitive. I cope by lying to myself that she wins because I enjoy paying on date nights.
We’ve played this game several times to course correct after a high spending month. January is the perfect time of year for this game since the holidays in December often result in overspending.
The $500 Challenge has many benefits. When we succeeded, we’d be right back on track for our goals. Even if we couldn’t quite stay under $500 (never an issue for my wife), this game still reminded us to to prioritize the experiences and things in life that truly mattered to us.
Get creative with nights out.
My favorite part of the game was it forced us to get creative with our nights out. One of my favorite date nights was a product of the $500 challenge.
We had just moved to our new neighborhood. It was a Friday night. People were out and the city was bumping, per usual in summertime Chicago. We set out for a walk to explore with only one rule: we had $20 to spend or less on dinner for two.
We weren’t going to waste that money on an Uber, so we just started walking. A couple miles later, having learned all about our new surroundings, we ended up at a casual restaurant we had never been to.
We ordered a plate of nachos to share off the happy hour menu. We even had enough money left for one of us to wash it down with a cold beer. The nachos were great and the vibe was perfect. The check, with tip? 19 bucks.
We walked home, which helped digest our dinner, and went to bed feeling light in the belly and heavy in the wallet.
8. Buy it if you want it, but not right away.
About 10 years ago, my mom bought me a jacket for a birthday present. It was the exact jacket I wanted. How did she know, I asked her. “You mentioned it when we were downtown four months ago.” Four months ago!
I shouldn’t have been surprised. My mom has one of those steel trap memories. If you only met her for five minutes and then saw her again two years later, don’t be surprised when she asks about your consulting gig, your trip to New Orleans, and that blue dress that she really liked.
I learned from my mom’s gift strategy and modified it to help myself resist the temptation to make impromptu purchases. I don’t have her memory, but I do have a phone with a notes function.
When I see something that I might want to buy, I do my best to resist the temptation of buying it immediately and make a note in my phone. After a couple weeks, if I still want that thing, I buy it.
More times than not, I no longer want whatever it was that tempted me in the moment.
9. You don’t have to go big or go home.
We’ve been focusing on smaller adjustments, but of course, bigger adjustments can have a bigger impact on your overall budget.
Making bigger adjustments means examining your biggest expenditures, which for most people is housing and transportation.
If your life situation allows for big changes in these areas, you should by all means consider them. After all, reducing your housing costs by $500 by switching to a less expensive apartment opens up a lot of dollars to deploy as fuel elsewhere. That one decision can make a big impact.
The challenge that I have personally experienced with big adjustments and continue to observe in my students today? Making big adjustments is not realistic for everyone.
Let’s talk about switching up your housing situation. By going big in this scenario, you are giving up your home.
This may be a realistic and intelligent decision for someone in their 20s, with no dependents, and living somewhere with ample housing units available.
On the other hand, moving to a new home may not be realistic for someone with children in school and strong roots in a particular community.
To advise that family to pack up their home and move away could be counterproductive. While they’ll save money, they’re giving up a part of their lives that may be very important to their overall happiness. That tradeoff might not be worth it.
The same rationale applies to transportation costs. Like our really lost boy, if you live in a city with public transportation, you probably don’t need a car (or an expensive parking spot).
If you have kids and regularly drive them to dance class, swimming, soccer, gymnastics, piano, music class, ski lessons, and grandma’s house (yes, this is my life right now), giving up your car is not realistic.
How can I adjust my rising housing costs without giving up my home?
It’s because of these complicated tradeoffs that I encourage everyone to start with small adjustments while you’re thinking about bigger adjustments.
As you think and talk about the bigger adjustments, you may unlock other solutions that don’t require you to move.
For example, if you’re renting an apartment, you could negotiate with your landlord about locking in a longer term lease at a fixed rent. That way, you keep your largest Now Money expense consistent and avoid paying more each year as your lease renews.
I employed this strategy with great success when I rented an apartment in Chicago, generating a lot of fuel for my Later Money by staying in the same apartment for seven years.
This strategy works for families, too. A buddy recently moved to a new state with his wife and two kids. Instead of buying a house right away, he signed a four-year lease on the perfect home for his family. He has a wonderful place to live and his costs are fixed for the near future.
What can I do if I’m a homeowner?
If you’re a homeowner, what can you do to reduce your expenses without giving up your home? You may not want to re-finance your mortgage in today’s environment, but could you address other rising home ownership costs?
As an example, I recently re-caulked and re-grouted my shower. I had never done that before, but I watched a lot of YouTube videos like this one. The project took me a while, in small bursts, but doing so saved me close to $1,000.00.
I also felt satisfaction for learning something new and getting a job done despite my many frustrations along the way.
In the long run, is $1,000 saved going to pay off my mortgage? Of course not. This is just one example to illustrate that we can all use our mental energy to think about solutions, without giving up our homes.
This thought process can be repeated endless times, and does not only apply to DIY projects. From your couch, you can work on lowering costs related to home insurance, maintenance, and utilities by making phone calls or sending emails.
When you’ve trained yourself to exert mental energy to solve your rising home ownership costs, those savings will add up. You can lower your expenditures without giving up your house.
10. Plan ahead for budget busters.
Budget busters are any inconsistent expenditures, good or bad, that can derail your planning.
Good budget busters might include trips, weddings, and holiday/birthday gift shopping. Bad budget busters include unexpected car repairs, home repairs, or medical expenses.
Note, budget busters are inconsistent; they are not unexpected. These expenditures are 100% predictable every year, we just don’t always know when they will surface.
Planning ahead for budget busters is crucial to staying on track.
To do so, open up a savings account, preferably at a different bank than your checking account. This helps isolate those funds so those dollars don’t disappear.
As part of our really lost boy’s Budget After Thinking, you’ll recall that we had a separate line item for budget busters in both our Now Money (bad budget busters) and Life Money (good budget busters).
I encourage you to do the same. Each month that you don’t spend your budget buster money, transfer it to your savings account so it’s there when you need it.
One more bonus tip for dealing with budget busters. We talked above about how to course correct when you exceed your budget in one month. On the flip side, what should you do when you’ve had a great month and underspent?
I recommend you transfer the amount you underspent to your budget busters savings account. Don’t let that hard-earned money sit in your checking account.
Those dollars will disappear. By transferring them to savings, those dollars will be at your disposal when needed.
We’ve covered a lot of ground here to help generate fuel for your Later Money. To recap:
My Top 10 Budgeting Tips for Lawyers and Professionals
See the ball go through the hoop.
Don’t cancel your social life.
Talk to your friends about your life money.
Keep on traveling.
Spark and cut.
It’s OK if you occasionally exceed your spending.
Make a game out of it, like the $500 challenge.
Buy it if you want it, but not right away.
You don’t have to go big or go home.
Plan ahead for budget busters.
These are the strategies that have worked for me in the past and continue to work for me today.
I hope you’ve see than budgeting does not have to be hard and nasty. It just takes a little mental energy, exerted ahead of time.
Whether these specific tips work for your personal situation isn’t the point. I promised you before that I won’t tell you what to do with your money.
Review my tips and focus on the thought process to identify solutions that might work for you.
Have you used any of these strategies? What about other strategies that worked for you?
Drop a comment below or on the socials to keep the conversation going.
I hope you’ve started thinking about why you want to be good with money. This will be personal for all of us and may change with time. The more you think and talk about why you want to be good with money, the clearer your motivations will become.
Three powerful reasons why I want to be good with money:
Money can give you choices.
Money can give you personal power.
Money can give you time.
1. Money can give you choices.
This may seem obvious, but when you have money, you have choices. You can choose where to live. You can choose who you work for, or can work for yourself. You can choose how you eat, exercise, relax, and travel.
This holds true whether you make $50,000 or $250,000. Of course, your options may be different. The point is that when you’ve made good money choices, you’ll at least have options.
2. Money can give you personal power.
This is another way to say that money gives you control of your life situation. If you are in a bad relationship, a bad job, or just need a change, money gives you the personal power to do something about it.
3. Money can give you time.
When you have enough money to be truly financially independent, you have earned the freedom to do whatever you want with your time. You can spend your working hours at a job that is meaningful to you. You can spend more time with people who are meaningful to you.
It’s been said many times, “time is our most precious resource.” When you have money, you can buy your time back.
From the time we’re in diapers, we start learning by observing people older than us. As my family prepares to leave the house, my son has recently started chanting “Let’s roll! Let’s roll! Let’s roll!” Yup, that one’s on me.
The same idea applies when it comes to life and money. I’ve mentioned before how much I’ve learned about life from listening to my clients suffering with mesothelioma. I’ve learned even more by listening to my family, friends, and mentors.
When you listen to enough people with more years behind them than you, certain themes continue to surface, like the importance of family. You’ll hear about creating experiences and memories, usually involving vacations or time with friends.
One thing I’ve never heard? Someone saying “I wish I spent less money on doing the things I loved.”
You don’t have to agree with everything you hear, but the act of listening will start turning the wheels in your own mind. And when your wheels start turning, you can’t be afraid to spend money on the things that make you happy.
Why do we need to actively think about the things that make us happy?
A sneak peak of how I look at budgeting.
I said we weren’t going to discuss budgeting yet, and we won’t. “Budgeting” is kind of a nasty word. Nobody likes to say it out loud, let alone aggressively do it each month. This is why we spend so much time in the beginning talking about our money mindset.
A budget is worthless if you are not motivated to stick to it. Sure, you may stick to your budget plan for a month or two, but you’ll fall back into old habits if you haven’t prioritized what matters most to you.
We’ll save the particulars for another day. A sneak peak at how I teach my students:
Like it or not, everyone needs a budget… for a little while. Once we’ve identified what we spend money on and made some thoughtful choices, most of us don’t need a rigid budget.
If you’ve thought and talked enough about your true motivations, you won’t need a budget either. Each month, you will take care of your obligations, grow your net worth, and use the rest of your money to buy things you love and to create experiences.
Talking money should be emotional.
If you’re being honest with yourself, talking money should be emotional. Remember, most of us exert mental energy pretending we’re not worried about money. My challenge to you is to exert that same energy into figuring out why we behave in certain ways when it comes to money.
The reason it matters is because we’re soon going to be talking in detail about budgeting, which is just the process of making thoughtful choices about how we spend our money. If we don’t know why we choose to spend in certain ways, we won’t be able to make lasting adjustments to our budget.
Let’s look at an example to start prepping ourselves for the budgeting process. This is a good time to revisit one of the main principles when talking money with your people: no judgments allowed. We’re not looking to shame ourselves or each other. We are aiming for understanding so we can make thoughtful decisions.
Say you’ve looked at your monthly spending and realize that you’re spending a lot of money dining out. The key to creating a budget you will actually stick to is actively thinking about why you spend so much money dining out. You might learn that dining out is an essential part of your best life. You might learn it’s really not.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is there an emotional reason you dine out frequently, like it makes you feel successful? Or, you like spending time with friends? Do you get joy out of trying new dishes?
Maybe it’s something else entirely and unrelated to your emotions. Maybe you don’t have time to cook at home because of your work schedule? Maybe it’s just laziness?
It might have nothing to do with how often you eat out, but where you choose to eat and what you choose to order. Do you order a bottle of wine with dinner? Could you have drinks at home beforehand instead?
When you honestly think about and answer these questions for yourself, you can start to make thoughtful decisions on whether that spending matches your priorities. If it doesn’t, then it’s an area for adjustment.
And, that’s really all that budgeting is. Not so nasty, right?
