Tag: goals

A few months before we got married, my wife and I took a trip down to Florida. One afternoon, I headed out to the beach with a book, a notebook, and a few ice cold beverages.

The weather was perfect. It was sunny but not too hot. Blue skies and just a slight breeze. The beach was quiet that afternoon. I set up my chair to face the ocean and started reading. This little break was exactly what I needed in the middle of “wedding planning.”

I don’t recall the book I was reading that day. I’ve been meaning to look back at my journals to see if I can figure it out. Anyways, I’ll never forget what I learned about myself that afternoon.

The author wrote about the power of financial freedom. We’ve discussed financial freedom in previous posts. The basic idea is that when you are financially free, you can choose how to live your life on your own terms. You can make important decisions based on what truly matters to you, as opposed to being forced down a certain path for money reasons.

On the beach that day, the concept of financial freedom was not new to me. I had read about it for years. The concept really hit home that afternoon when the author asked a simple but powerful question:

What would you do with financial freedom?

Maybe the question really resonated with me because I was about to get married. It’s only natural to daydream about what life would be like after the wedding, even though my wife and I had been a couple for six years by that point.

Over the years, we had talked a lot about what we wanted our lives together to look like. We knew long before the wedding how we each felt about major topics like starting a family and where we wanted to live.

We were also on the same page when it came to money decisions. My wife and I met early on during my personal finance journey, not long after I had determined to get my money life sorted out. My wife still jokes that she was my first personal finance student.

By the time we got married, I had been on my personal finance journey for about seven years. I was out of debt and was starting to think about the options that were now available to me. It was around this time that I learned one of the most powerful words in personal finance:

DINK

Back then, my wife and I were both working as lawyers in Chicago. We didn’t have any kids. I didn’t realize it until later on, but we were DINKs.

DINK means “Dual Income No Kids.”

When you’re in a relationship where you have two incomes coming in and are sharing financial responsibilities, you have the opportunity to supercharge your Later Money goals.

If you are currently a DINK, or will soon be a DINK, please pay extra attention here.

Don’t waste this powerful opportunity to supercharge your Later Money goals.

This is what my wife and I were able to do, even if we didn’t know what a DINK was. We each had good incomes coming in and our monthly expenses were low. The two of us could comfortably share an apartment, instead of each paying for an apartment separately. That’s major savings each month.

We didn’t have to worry about childcare. We were young so the odds of unexpected medical care were lower. All things considered, it was pretty easy to keep our Now Money to a minimum with plenty to spare for Life Money.

This allowed us to fuel our Later Money goals, like having a nice wedding and saving up for a home or rental property. We had money in the bank and seemingly endless choices.

And, I didn’t want to screw it up.

Which brings us back to me sitting on the beach, thinking about what I would do with financial freedom, with maybe 1 or 2 less beverages in the cooler.

What did I really want out of life?

I put my book down and looked off into the ocean, thinking about what I wanted out of life. I started thinking about what my ideal life would look like. By this point, I was engaged in the type of deep thought where you don’t even realize what’s happening around you.

It quickly occurred to me that I had never truly thought about what I wanted in life. Sure, I had thought about things like having a family and being able to take vacations.

But, I never carved out time to purposefully think hard about what I actually wanted. I had never asked myself what truly motivates me.

Without a doubt, I had never written down the answer to that powerful question: what would I do with financial freedom?

I hadn’t ever allowed myself to dream about financial freedom.

The truth is, I don’t think I had ever visualized a life that wasn’t dominated by a full-time job. Up to that point, my whole life had revolved around getting an education and then getting a job. I never pictured a world where I might not need a full-time job to provide for myself and eventually my family.

I had read about the concept of being financially free, but it always seemed like a possibility for other people, not me. Writing this years later, I feel sad for that version of myself for having such limiting beliefs.

That said, I completely understand why I felt that financial freedom was unattainable for someone like me. This was in the phase of my life where I had been preoccupied with eliminating debt. Because of that debt, I didn’t allow myself to dream about what life could look like if money wasn’t holding me back.

This was also before my wife and I had rental properties. It was before we recognized the impact of side hustles and multiple streams of income. I had read about and understood these concepts in theory, but I hadn’t put what I learned into practice.

That day on the beach, it was like a light went on in my head.

After years of patience and discipline, I had climbed out of debt. I was now a DINK with Later Money in the bank waiting to be deployed. That meant I had created opportunities.

I wasn’t financially free, but for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to accept that financial freedom was possible for me.

This was one of the most powerful moments in my life.

With that realization in my mind, I walked into the ocean to cool off and think some more.

What would I do with financial freedom?

There in the ocean, I wasn’t thinking about dollars or career goals. This was more important than that. I was thinking about what I wanted my life to look like if money was not an issue. I was thinking about what I would do with my time if I was in complete control.

Floating there in the water, it was like I had an epiphany. Everything suddenly became clear to me. I ran out of the ocean to get back to my chair before I forgot what just popped into my head.

I whipped out my top bound spiral notebook and started writing with a blue pen. Minutes later, I had written down seven answers to the question: what would I do with financial freedom?

My “Tiara Goals” were born.

Nearly eight years later, I still have that sheet of notebook paper. I keep it safe in a leather binder protected by a laminated page holder. It has those familiar tear marks on the top of the page where the paper connected to the spiral binding.

Even though I have these seven goals memorized by now, I still look at this sheet of paper every month. Looking at this sheet is an incredible reminder of that day on the beach when everything became clear to me.

A quick aside, I call my goals “Tiara Goals” because it’s a silly, but meaningful, description to me. Have some fun with what you name your goals. If you do it right, you’ll be thinking and talking about these goals a lot.

What are my Tiara Goals?

So, here are my original Tiara Goals from 2017, as scribbled on that sheet of paper and edited for clarity:

1. Be with my wife and kids as much as I want. Dad never missed a game. Mom never missed a game. Nana never missed a game.
2. Not be forced to commute to work on Friday or Tuesday or whatever day, if I need that day for myself.
3. Choose how to spend my working hours (representing clients, teaching, volunteering, building a business, etc.).
4. Continue to study and learn constantly.
5. Take at least one big trip every year.
6. Never turn down an exciting or smart opportunity because I can’t afford it.
7. Work alongside people that value my contributions.

Keep in mind that I wrote these goals before I had kids and before I was even married. This was also years before the pandemic when working from home was a foreign concept to most of us.

I think it says a lot that I was thinking about these things way back then.

In a future post, we’ll unpack each of these goals.

While I haven’t reached financial freedom yet, I think I’m doing a pretty good job already living by these fundamental values.

How do my Tiara Goals help me today?

My Tiara Goals motivate me to continue striving for financial freedom. We’ve talked extensively about the importance of having strong money motivation in our lives. When we have these powerful motivations, we can stay on budget, get out of debt, and fuel our Later Money goals.

We can obtain Parachute Money. We can choose to do meaningful work and choose to spend more time with people who are meaningful to us.

No, it’s not easy to achieve financial freedom. But, it is a whole lot easier when you know what you are striving for in the first place.

That’s why at the beginning of my financial wellness class, I ask my students to write down their own versions of Tiara Goals. I want to help them avoid the limiting beliefs that I had before that day on the beach.

My favorite part of class is when my students share their Tiara Goals.

Without a doubt, this is always my favorite part of class. When I say I’m on a mission to convince you that talking money is not taboo, I think of my students sharing their goals. I get so energized by hearing their goals. My students report the same sentiment after learning what drives their friends and peers.

Over the years, my students have shared countless impactful stories. As unique as these goals can be, it’s remarkable how most of us want the same things in life. Year after year, I hear the same motivating forces:

• Spend more time with my family.
• Travel and enjoy experiences around the world.
• Stay healthy and fit.
• Provide for my children and my aging parents.
• Work for a cause I believe in.
• Have time to volunteer.

I also regularly hear one thing that my students, and the rest of us, don’t want:

• I don’t want to be stressed about money.

Isn’t it telling that year after year, most of us want the same things in life? I’ve yet to hear anyone say that they dream about working endless hours and not taking their PTO.

Be specific, but not too specific, when you think about financial freedom.

When we talk about what we do with financial freedom in class, I encourage my students to get specific without being so precise that the goal becomes restrictive. When we’re thinking about goals related to financial freedom, the idea is to focus more on big-picture, core values.

There will be a time and a place to strategize how to get there. The point here is to help define what you’re even trying to get in the first place.

For example, instead of “spending more time with family,” I would suggest something like, “never miss my child’s soccer game or dance recital because of work.”

Instead of “travel around the world,” I would suggest “at least one overseas trip of at least 2 weeks per year.”

Adding that little bit of specificity will help you visualize what you’re striving for with your money decisions.

Don’t get discouraged if you think you are not close to financial freedom.

Even when you feel like financial freedom is only a distant dream for you, it’s important to actively think about what you want out of life. I’d even suggest that the further away you feel from financial freedom, the more important it is to think about what it would mean for you.

When you’re at your lowest point, visualizing what you would do with financial freedom is a helpful escape.

If you haven’t ever actively thought about what you would do with financial freedom, hopefully this post will encourage you to do so.

Don’t forget to write down whatever you come up with.

I suggest you share your version of Tiara Goals with your friends and loved ones. It’s OK to keep some of your goals private. By sharing, you will get the benefit of them cheering you on. You’ll also hopefully encourage them to share their goals with you, which can be very inspiring.

Have you thought about what you would do with financial freedom?

Have you ever written it down or shared your answers with others?

What are your Tiara Goals?

Let us know in the comments below!